Aries — Thursday 28 May 2026

Two stars. Adequate lighting, no atmosphere, service technically present but clearly resenting you. *Mars* is sulking in *Taurus*, which means your natural impulse to charge at the day headfirst has been replaced by something slower, heavier, and more interested in lunch. The *Mars*-*Pluto* square is making that instinct combative — you want what you want, and you want it now, and what you currently want is something specific that you cannot name but will definitely recognise when you see it on someone else's plate. You'll order the wrong thing. Not catastrophically wrong — just wrong enough to spend the meal eyeing the table next to you. *Saturn* sitting in your own sign is applying steady, joyless pressure to *Venus* in *Cancer*, which means any attempt at treating yourself today comes wrapped in mild guilt. You'll spend £14 on a meal deal and feel like you need to account for it. **Fortune cookie:** You are not hungry. You are avoiding the email.